At the October meeting of the Women in Family Business Peer Group, we discussed Communication Styles. So often, women are pressured to act and communicate in a specific way. The pressure to be ‘ladylike’ is forced upon us from a young age. This pressure women experience reflects in later life when so many of us struggle to fight for what we’re worth.
The 4 Styles of Communication
We discussed the four styles of communication in the session. Most people will find themselves fitting into different styles at various points. People slide between styles due to the different people they interact with or different environments. However, especially in the workplace, people tend to have one that is most prominent.
Passive Communicators are often apologetic in both demeanor and word choice. They struggle to say no and often feel small or powerless, regardless of position. Due to the societal expectations placed on them, women tend to primarily use this communication style.
Aggressive Communicators can be domineering. They are outspoken and forward. This forwardness can often be interpreted negatively by the people around them. Aggressive communicators frequently physically take up additional space to present themselves as more overbearing.
Passive Aggressive Communicators utilize backhanded comments and sarcasm to express their feelings. They will smile during upsetting experiences only to show their upset through unkind behavior later on.
Assertive Communicators are considered the ideal style out of the four. Assertive people can speak their minds constantly and comfortably. Compared to the other styles, assertive communicators maintain a level playing field between themselves and the person they’re communicating with.
Understanding Your Style of Communication
Everyone may use these styles at different times, though generally, there will be one that is most common. Where do you fit in? How do you think you communicate most often based on these four styles? If you believe you primarily use an assertive style, that’s great, but what makes you break from that style and why? Otherwise, it’s a matter of identifying where you currently stand and figuring out how to move towards a more assertive style. Sometimes people find themselves leaning more towards the aggressive style during times of stress when their thoughts seem to be going by unheard. Do you sometimes think being aggressive is the only way to get through to your peers? Or do you find that you’re not getting through to them at all due to being passive? Communication takes thought and effort. So often, it does not naturally come how we need it to.
Using These Styles to Foster Strong Employee and Family Relationships
Knowing your style is one thing, but understanding the styles of those around you is equally important. Whether above or below where you stand in your company, you will meet co-workers who branch across every communication style. Aggressive communicators tend to be company heads, while the more passive tend to be at lower levels. Though, this is far from a rule. Good company leaders must be able to identify and work with the communication styles of the people around them, including family members. Additionally, the work environment affects what styles employees use most. The more aggressive workers in the company there are, the more people will become passive to work around them. The environment results in less assertiveness across the business, causing valuable ideas to go dormant. Taking advantage of how people communicate can produce a healthy and supportive workplace if all involved, especially leaders, push to maintain a more assertive communication style.
If you are interested in the Women in Family Business Peer Group, please join us at our monthly meetings. Contact Amy at adotts@familybusinesscenter if you have any questions about this group.
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